


No It Really Doesn't Matter

by emmaliza



Category: Nowhere Boys (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Internal Processes, M/M, Realising Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 00:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3431681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmaliza/pseuds/emmaliza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a prompt on <a href="http://nowhere-boys.livejournal.com/7100.html">the nowhere boys comment fic meme (#2)</a>: <i>"Jake/Andy - Andy being gone helps Jake figure out his feelings for the other boy.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	No It Really Doesn't Matter

_“I just really want Andy back.”_

He doesn't think twice when he says it. Of course he wants Andy back. They all do. That's what this is all about, getting past the evil witches and determined police officers they have to deal with – all they want is for Andy to come home. It's all Felix wants too, which is why he doesn't question it when Jake says it.

But Jake starts questioning it not long after. He does want Andy back, and it's been gnawing at him ever since he disappeared. Maybe it's guilt – if they'd all paid slightly more attention (and if Felix hadn't felt the need to ask out the girl who was sort of Andy's sort of ex sort of girlfriend right in front of him), Andy might not have done something so stupid and gotten himself into this situation. Maybe it's basic honest friendship.

Then again, sure, they all miss Andy – but it doesn't seem to weigh on the other boys quite like it weighs on Jake.

Sam is perfectly capable of forgetting about him in favour of Mia (there's very little Sam won't forget for Mia – there's a reason it was so easy for that demon to make him destroy the talisman). And Felix, well, Jake can't say he's not tried to get Andy back – but he gave up their only chance for Oscar.

It's not really fair to hold that against him. But the thing is – Sam and Felix both like Andy, miss him, love him even, probably – but they both have people they value more than him. Jake's not sure about that, in his case.

Well Mum, probably. She hasn't been involved yet though (and she won't if Alice knows what's good for her), so it's hard to tell. But even when Saskia– (he gulps hard. _She wasn't real,_ he keeps hearing, as if it makes any difference) –after what happened to Saskia happened, the next thought, the next thing that sprang to mind, was Andy. That it wouldn't all be for nothing.

(It feels wrong, almost, that he might have fallen for someone else so soon after Saskia. But he hasn't even seen Andy since before he met Saskia. Did he fall for him before all this? But then where does she–)

He's getting way, way ahead of himself and he knows it. For most of his life he's paid Andy Lau very little attention and what he has, hasn't exactly been positive. Then for a couple of weeks they were trapped together in an extreme situation and they bonded. They all bonded, even if Andy never got that manhug he wanted. Still, it's a bit soon to start declaring anything, particular when Andy's not even _here._

But he got to know Andy during those weeks, more than the nerd whose head he'd 'accidentally' kicked the footy at during practice. Not that he wasn't still a nerd. But he was also brave, determined. Eager for recognition of his work. Eager to share information and his enthusiasm. Both scared of danger and strangely enthralled by it. Not as scrawny as you'd expect, and kind of sexy when stripped to his singlet and grimied up from the way they were living. _Christ._

Leaving aside the whole issue of his sexuality, which is a can of worms he just doesn't want to open (because he's still technically captain of the footy team, and he guesses Trent Long is still a friend of his, and his family have enough to deal with already and this place is technically a suburb but sometimes it acts more like a country town) – it's not right to be thinking about all this now, of all times. They have to get Andy back, first. Everything else can come later.

But he still misses Andy, a lot, and that weighs on him and brings up all those questions.

During one of the very rare moments of peace they get, he manages to talk to Mum. “What's wrong, love?” she says, grabbing a peach before she has to head off to work.

_Lots of things_ , he thinks, but he doesn't have time to explain it all to her and besides, even she probably wouldn't believe him. “I think I might have a crush on one of my friends,” he finds himself blurting out, and he swears he can hear her smirking. “And I don't think I should.”

She looks puzzled. “Why not?”

He sighs. “A whole bunch of reasons, really.”

“You're not going to give me any more detail than that, are you?”

He shakes his head. “Not – not yet, sorry. Sorry Mum.”

She puts her arm around his shoulders and squeezes. “That's alright. You just tell me when your ready. Trust me though, it's probably not worth worrying about as much as you are. These things almost inevitably work themselves out.” She kisses him on the cheek. “Anyway, I've gotta go. See you tonight, Jakey.”

“See you,” he says, and hopes he actually will see her tonight and not have to come up with some excuse as to why he was out with his friends for so long again that won't get him in trouble.

He hasn't exactly told his mum everything, but he's told her something. And that means he can't just ignore it and pretend it doesn't matter anymore. If it matters enough to tell Mum then it _matters_ , and it can't be dismissed as a few isolated thoughts here and there, a side effect of the fact he misses Andy because they're friends and he's missing.

Because he does miss Andy. A lot. Much more than he remembers missing all his friends when he was trapped in a universe where none of them knew he existed.

He realises, with reluctance, that he's in love with Andy Lau.

But Andy Lau is still missing to the world at large, being held captive in a mysterious dimension by an evil witch for reasons they still don't know, and Jake, and the others, they have to get him home – that's what matters right now.

Given what's going on, how Jake feels about him isn't really very important.


End file.
